


Confessions of a Shitty Person: by Charles Bernard "Barney" Barton

by myheartismadeofstars



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment, Character Study, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, POV First Person, barney pov, character exploration, laura and the kids are still there, laura still loves him, well kind of, working through issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 21:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7138481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheartismadeofstars/pseuds/myheartismadeofstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barney needs to tell you all something about himself and his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions of a Shitty Person: by Charles Bernard "Barney" Barton

My name is Barney Barton, and I am a shitty person. I’m a shitty brother, I’m a shitty husband, and I’m one helluva shitty father. 

But can you blame me?

With shitty parents like mine (and the most goddamn pretentious names out there! “Edith Barton” “Harold Barton” “Charles Bernard Barton” and “Clinton Francis Barton”. Fuck, maybe if we had been as rich as our names sounded our lives wouldn’t have sucked _so_  badly!) you can really only end up a shitty person...or you can end up like Clint, apparently. Depressed, but beloved by more than half of the people that get to know him. He has issues, but people love him and forgive him...fuck, Clint gets everything.

What do I get? Well...I used to have a great job with the FBI (Special Agent, Criminal Investigative Division), which I actually loved. I met a woman who was beautiful and kind and generally too good for me, and ended up giving up the former for the latter. With Laura I ended up moving out to the middle of nowhere...back to, in all irony, the place I grew up. Sounds romantic, right? If you think that, you haven’t been paying attention.

Well, remember what I said about being a (shitty) father? We had a son. Beautiful. Laura named him Cooper. Smart kid.

Somehow...being a father stressed me out. I started drinking. A lot. In my mind I saw myself turning into the man that would get drunk and yell a lot and beat his wife and kids. The man who beat my mother and brother and me.

I am already an angry and bitter man. Alcohol did _not_  help. 

I don’t remember what the situation was _exactly_  but I do remember that one day, after I had been drinking, I raised my hand to Cooper... I didn’t hit him, but I scared him...he was just a kid.

That was when I realized that in that moment, I almost became my father. I almost hit a little kid.

I loved Laura, I loved Cooper...but it was at that moment that I knew I needed help. Serious help. And I couldn’t stay with my family while I got it. I didn’t want to slip up and hurt one of them.

I awoke early the next morning and left my wife and son before they woke up. I kissed them both goodbye, and then I left.

I left seeking Alcoholism counseling and Anger Management. I promised myself that I would call once I had made a breakthrough. I should have called on my way to the city...

Alcoholism is a pain in the ass, as are anger issues. It doesn’t help when you don’t have a job in the city and you can’t afford an apartment (note to self: apartments are expensive in the city). 

I had to make money somehow...so I ended up turning to crime, just in order to pay for an apartment. I always intended to stop, but I had done it before, as a teen in the circus ~~I will never understand how I got my job, because I had a record~~ and even a bit while undercover for work. I knew how to do it, and I was pretty good about not getting caught. I did well, for a while. Getting counseling twice a week (AA on Saturday and AM on Wednesday) and paying my rent with stolen money (and paying for groceries...and alcohol. Did I mention I’m really bad at the Alcoholism treatment part?)

This story does have a happy ending, though...kinda.

I ran into my brother Clint. He told me (through arrows being loosed in both directions. We don’t get along very well...) that Laura wanted me back (after something like five years). I had a daughter I didn’t know about (I left my pregnant wife before finding out. Good Going Barney!). Lila. Clint showed me a picture of her. 

Fuck was she beautiful, looks just like her mother. Cooper looked like me, and I suppose a bit like my old man too...though his smile is infinitely better than either. He still looks like a smart kid. 

Clint yelled at me for a long time about leaving Laura. I...kinda yelled my reasons at him. We attracted a lot of attention, that's for sure, but he understood, I think. I mean, not wanting to abuse my wife and son is a pretty good reason to leave. 

I hate my brother, because he pulled the guilt card on me. He talked about how Cooper barely remembered me, and Lila had never met me and all that bullshit and how they deserved to know me. Apparently my bastard baby brother (I call him that even though the age difference is like, three years) had taken to sharing my wife's bed when he stayed with them (not a euphemism, they just slept in the same bed) and my wife whom I wouldn't have been surprised if she had been calling for a divorce sometimes still said my name in her sleep. 

I  _did_ say she was too good for me, right? Because if she still loves me after I abandoned her like I did because I was too proud, that just proves my point.

Clint also said he was "disappointed" that I had turned to crime. 

What a load of shit coming from him!!!

Clint was a criminal a lot longer than I was! He chose to stay with a  _criminal_ circus when I left to have a better life! Just because we had a shitty father doesn't mean you get to be my parent,  _CLINT_! Stupid Clint, thinks he can get moral high ground on me....

 But...Clint promised that he would try to fix my record and help me get a job, just so long as I went back to Laura and my kids. So in the end I went with him.

Yeah...Laura was happy to see me. 

I got yelled at like a bad dog, I got banned to the couch, and I got slapped across the face. Not in that order. Once Laura was done scolding me she hugged me and told me to go see my children.

Cooper is a quiet boy, kinda like Clint was as a kid. Lila is a little ray of sunshine or some other such positive comment. For real though, my kids are great.

I was home for little more than a week when Laura brought me back to my bed. So much for being banned for a month.

Uh....the third one was announced officially to Clint and his girl (I will never let him live down falling for a redhead. **_NEVER!_** _)_ and we agreed that my second daughter should be named after her "Aunt Nat".

Of course, Clint kept his promise and got me a job. Though I will never forgive him for the fact that I wasn't around for my son's birth the second time around. Yes,  _Son_. Apparently my dearest sister in law (to be?) was not happy.  

I was on a mission for work.

Oh, did I mention Clint fucking gave my son the name of some guy he had met like two hours ago as a middle name? Because he did that too. Jokes on him, his middle name was going to be Clinton.

My name is Charles Bernard Barton. I am a shitty person. I have a drinking problem (currently working on cutting back), and anger issues (getting help). I fight with my brother, and I missed most of my children's lives until recently. I tried to get help to avoid being an abusive drunk like my father, and ended up becoming an absentee dad instead...not sure which is worse, honestly.

I may be a shitty person, but I do  _not_ have a shitty life. At least...not anymore.

Thank you, Clint.


End file.
